Joke #12558

Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.

A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.

A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.

The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.