Joke #11315

What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant

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A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two". The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001." Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four." Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
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has 85.68 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant? A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
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has 81.79 % from 566 votes. More jokes about: accountant, dirty, tax, women