What does CPA stand for?
Can't Pass Again.
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An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind?
A: None - just assume it's changed.
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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Q: Why do economists exist?
A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
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Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor.
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Q: Who was the first accountant?
A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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It's 4:04.
Do you know where your auditor is?
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An accountant dies and goes to heaven (no, that's not the joke).
St. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions.
"What sort of accountant were you?"
"Oh, I was a CPA", was the reply.
"Name?" asks St. Pete.
The accountant gives his name and St. Peter finds his file.
"Oh yes, we've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted time span."
The accountant says, "I don't get it. How can that be? I'm only 48 years old."
Pete looks again at the file and says, "Well, that's impossible."
"Why do you say that?" asks the accountant.
"Well," says St. Peter, "we've been looking over your time sheets and the hours you've charged your clients. By our reckoning, you must be at least 93 years old!"
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job?
A: Bob.
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