What does CPA stand for?
Can't Pass Again.
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Similar jokes
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Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels.
He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it.
He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin.
Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load.
On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip.
On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath.
Nothing.
He could never find anything amiss.
After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned.
A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?"
And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.
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Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"
The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's.
The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there.
"I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here."
The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds."
The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
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An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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