Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Hide a seek champion... ; Since 1958
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.