Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"