Joke #11773

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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has 79.47 % from 818 votes. More jokes about: accountant, nerd, sex

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*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
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An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat. The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is. The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"
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An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
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Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
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A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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