Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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When two men have sex what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sex?
That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
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Two students talk:
"What are you reading?"
"Quantum physics theory book."
"But why are you reading it upside-down?"
"It makes no difference anyway."
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?