Joke #11773

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
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Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
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Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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Flashlight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.70 % from 183 votes. Send joke:

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