Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.