Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex?
She locks the car doors.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position".
The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
What does CPA stand for?
Can't Pass Again.
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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
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A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack.
He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed.
An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge.
The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?”
Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean”
The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?”
Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK”
The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?”
Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much.
So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand.
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”
Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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