The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
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When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me.
First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her.
Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
For hare care.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring.
One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it.
"My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully, he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
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Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
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A first-grade teacher can't
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl.
"It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?"
"Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student.
"Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?"
"Then I'd be a football fan."