Joke #7576

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football

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After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, football, genie
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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has 38.48 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football, sport
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror. He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!' The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, football
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, women
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
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has 22.02 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 68.86 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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has 70.16 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
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has 79.96 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music