What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None - just assume it's changed.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.