What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor.
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How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
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A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint.
"Give me all your money", he says.
The muggee isindignant.
"You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent."
"In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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Q: Why do economists exist?
A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
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A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"
The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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It's 4:04.
Do you know where your auditor is?
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Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
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A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
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