Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
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Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
A: Lazy.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
It's 4:04.
Do you know where your auditor is?
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During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck.
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.
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Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"
Boss "Certainly not!"
Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?"
"No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
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A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
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What does CPA stand for?
Can't Pass Again.
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