Joke #11424

Q: Why did the boy come first in the 100 metre sprint? A: He had athlete's foot.
Vote:
has 24.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: atheist

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Vote:
has 76.62 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: atheist, math, religious
An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, time
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
Vote:
has 52.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
Vote:
has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: atheist, genie, money
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Vote:
has 55.13 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: atheist, church, death
Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
Vote:
has 48.11 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: atheist, religious
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.
Vote:
has 71.31 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, religious
Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
Vote:
has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: atheist, food
Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist? A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
Vote:
has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: atheist, bible, religious
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
Vote:
has 69.73 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, light bulb, work