Joke #11457

Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?

"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."

Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."

Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.