Joke #11457

Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.

"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.

Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.

I hope this gas station sells Father's Day cards.

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.

Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.