Joke #11457

Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?

"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.

Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.

By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.

Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.