Father's Day always worried James.
He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
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"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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Happy Father's Day!
I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it.
By the way, can I borrow $20?
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What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.
When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed:
"I thought we had a deal."
The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
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By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead.
And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
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