Father's Day always worried James.
He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
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Happy Father's Day!
I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it.
By the way, can I borrow $20?
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"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.
Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously.
The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch.
She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," she said.
"We only met a half hour ago.
How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," the young man declared.
"For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
Why don't black people pay rent?
Because jail is free.
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Last year I told the kids there was no Father Christmas, this year I’m telling the wife.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’
Spike Milligan
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you."
"Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"