Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.