Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.