Joke #11634

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
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Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Vote: has 81.77 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.92 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

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If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
Vote: has 87.45 % from 316 votes. Send joke:

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