Joke #11546

When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, office, work
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
Vote: has 83.07 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, life, management, work
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, time, work
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Vote: has 81.40 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two". The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001." Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four." Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work