Joke #11603

I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, mother in law

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
Vote: has 77.74 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, dog, mother in law, work
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, men
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
Vote: has 78.26 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, life, mother in law, wedding, women
Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, mother in law, office
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Vote: has 81.07 % from 544 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
Vote: has 81.87 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, men
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
Vote: has 54.56 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, christian, communication, death