Joke #11557

Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.

Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."

I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.

Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.

Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!

Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.