Joke #11557

Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, mother in law

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Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 82.18 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mother in law, wedding, women
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, mother in law
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.
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has 81.85 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: family, mean, mother in law, wedding
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".
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has 70.37 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, mother in law, wife
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.97 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law