Joke #11683

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."

Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"