Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.