Joke #11683

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”

A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.

Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall? A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.

What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.