Joke #11683

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.

The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.