Joke #11715

Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An accountant dies and goes to heaven (no, that's not the joke). St. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. "What sort of accountant were you?" "Oh, I was a CPA", was the reply. "Name?" asks St. Pete. The accountant gives his name and St. Peter finds his file. "Oh yes, we've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted time span." The accountant says, "I don't get it. How can that be? I'm only 48 years old." Pete looks again at the file and says, "Well, that's impossible." "Why do you say that?" asks the accountant. "Well," says St. Peter, "we've been looking over your time sheets and the hours you've charged your clients. By our reckoning, you must be at least 93 years old!"
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, age, death, heaven, time
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, time
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken. "That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?" "I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, food, time, wife
Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers? A: You can only kill so much time.
Vote: has 54.60 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, time
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, wife, work
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time