Joke #12103

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, office, party, time

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At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
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has 79.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
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has 77.66 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, office, time
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death. The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn. This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, lawyer, party, time
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: money, party, time, wedding
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, Christmas, time, Yo mama
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, office, party
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, technology, time, Yo mama
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa