Joke #11787

Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
Vote: has 79.95 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, death, redneck

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote: has 86.00 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, car, death, heaven, life
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow? A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, redneck, wife
Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Vote: has 74.73 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, redneck
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Vote: has 56.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, blonde, celebrity, death
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide. The magician said, "You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, "Beer!" He landed in a glass of beer. The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
Vote: has 46.02 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, racist, redneck
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Vote: has 14.23 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex