Q: What is a redneck's last words?
A: Hold my beer and watch this!
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Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote:
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die.
Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter.
"Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked.
St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven."
Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?"
So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down.
There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer.
"I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff.
"It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow?
A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with?
Anything for the family.
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down.
A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!"
At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building.
The blonde then orders the Same beer.
She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window.
And falls to her death.
The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote:
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"