Joke #11787

Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote: has 82.95 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

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Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Vote: has 77.53 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow? A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
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More jokes about: death, family, redneck
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Vote: has 56.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
Vote: has 46.02 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. "Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer." The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don't know the price of beer." So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer. "You know," says the barkeep, "we don't get many horses around here." To which the horse replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised."
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, horse, money