Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
First woman in space: "Houston, we have a problem." What? "Never mind." What's the problem? "Nothing." Please tell us. "I'm fine."
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.