A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason.
The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?"
The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?"
"No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
I have a bumper sticker saying, "Honk if you think I'm sexy".
Some days I just stand at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
"Siri, why am I still single?"
Siri activates front camera.
Vote:
Yo mama so ugly, people break into her house to close the curtains!
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone?
A: You can't hear a vitamin.