You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
Yo mama so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.
You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
Yo mama so old Moses is in her year book.
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.