Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference.
Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius."
Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!"
Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..."
Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked.
"Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice.
And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches.
But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?"
"Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!"
The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife.
So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!"
The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find.
Oh my God!
How did you find me?
