Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1".
I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee.
The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond.
On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff.
The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone."
Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one."
Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down."
Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?"
Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles."
Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember.
Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns.
The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?"
The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted."
The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries!
Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down."
Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there."
To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
Vote:
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!