Joke #11621

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: new year, poems, winter

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Vote: has 52.41 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, new year
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: new year, time
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, money, new year, political, tax
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Vote: has 70.72 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, poems, sex, white people
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, new year
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: winter
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems