Joke #11621

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter

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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
Roses are red "just like blood" Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo" So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out And shows me 1 thing your shit.
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has 14.73 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: insulting, poems, vulgar
Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: new year, time
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dog, food, winter
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: friendship, new year
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: new year, technology
Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee.
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has 70.19 % from 302 votes. More jokes about: poems, Yo mama
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
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has 62.78 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems