Joke #11621

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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More jokes about: new year, poems, winter

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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Vote: has 56.50 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
Vote: has 65.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
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My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Vote: has 84.05 % from 688 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote: has 59.05 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed