Joke #11621

Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter

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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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has 78.89 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, life, new year, time
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: new year, time
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: winter
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
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has 54.08 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, poems, sex
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky, when the notion of the motion was planted, in her dinky little head. With her butt in the air, while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest. Drunk and stupid and would not listen, smeared beyond recognition, she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
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has 17.45 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, drunk, poems, stupid
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
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has 41.41 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter