Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
A: Have an ice day!
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Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
Vote:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Vote:
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
Vote:
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge.
As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed.
Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!"
A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!"
I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."