Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."
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After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge.
As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed.
Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!"
A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!"
I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
Vote:
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference.
Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius."
Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!"
Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..."
Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
Vote:
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib?
A: A snowmobile!
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance?
A: To snowballs.
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work.
If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.