Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No it's not, if you don't eat too often..
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist? He got the sack.