Joke #2769

Teeth says to tongue: if I just press a little, you'll get cut. Tongue replies: if i misuse a single word, all 32 of you will come out.
Vote:
has 82.88 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
Vote:
has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, school
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Vote:
has 85.37 % from 2481 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, life
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dating, food, life
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science, time
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life