Joke #11917

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? Answer: After five years, your job still sucks.

The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.

Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes? In little Natzie's.

When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'... I took her to a petrol station...

My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"

My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!