Joke #11898

One of Hitler's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores." Hitler replies, "Well, mine less." A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!" Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"

Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.

Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.

I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.

Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."

One day, Hitler decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka. As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him. "How high can you jump?" he asks the first one. "About 1 meter," answers the prisoner. Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier. "Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread." After the soldier did as he was told, Hitler stood before the second prisoner. "How high can you jump?" he asks again. After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says. "Two meters, if I really try." Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier again. "Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread." Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan. Finally, Hitler stood face to face with him. "How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner. "My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face. Hitler frowned before turning to his soldier. "Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?" "Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier. Hitler nodded again before turning to the last prisoner. "In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."

Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.

Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".