Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
Vote:
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs.
Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder.
They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?"
"Heroin"
"But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange."
"This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
Vote:
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.
How to speak Irish:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
Say them all quickly.
Vote:
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house.
I ain't lying.
I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place.
And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint.
Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"