Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin.
What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.
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Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy.
A: Indi-anus
This guy named "John" asked advice how to lose extra LBS gained during vacation and was told about some new fitness center.
So John went to check it out.
Walked in, put $10 on the counter and said: "I'd like to lose 10 LBS please?!"
The receptionist smiled and pointed to a pink door.
John walked slowly into the room and saw only a massage table, a gorgeous scantily dressed woman on the other side. She said in a sexy voice "If you catch me, you fxxx me! " John ran around n round, caught her and...
A few days later John returned. He put $20 on the counter and said "I'd like to lose 20 LBS. The smiling receptionist and pointed to a red door. John strutting to the door, and entered where he beheld 2 beautifully attired very hot n sexy women kissing and caressing each other, then they stood up, gazed at John, who was already moving toward them. And they purred "you catch us, you fuck us!"
Already in motion, John ran round n round caught one, then caught the other...
The following week John went back again.
He smiled while searching for the door he knew was waiting for him, and slapped $50 on the counter saying excitedly "50 LBS for 50 bucks."
The receptionist pointed to a black door.
John strode over with quick steps, opened the door and immediately heard a deep voice belonging to the biggest blackest buck naked she-male say excitedly
"I catch you I fuck you!"
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine.
But I need a line to end it.
Anthony Weiner got in trouble with his Hispanic online name "Carlos Danger".
He is now using a French online name, "Jacques Ouef".
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