Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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An evening of Valentine's Day.
A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."
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A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck.
Who's driving?
Immigration.
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
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A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight."
The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.
Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, so?" said the officer.
"Well, why are you all dressed up like a Fireman?"