Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.