Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.
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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: Why are white people called crackers.
A: Because they use to crack that whip on those niggers.
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I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
Oh very well , now about your hearing...
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.