Joke #120

Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A: A great place to start.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
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has 71.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer, sex
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women
A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "you can't come in here... you have to go to the other place". But the lawyer was really good and pleaded his case to the point where St. Peter said, "OK... here's what I'll do. You will spend the same amount of time in hell as you did on earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here." The lawyer figured this wasn't too bad of a deal, so he said "OK". St. Peter said, "Great... I'll see you in 350 years.". The lawyer said, "But, how is that possible... I'm only 65 years old!". St Peter said, "We go by billing hours".
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has 82.98 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: age, death, heaven, lawyer
How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore? A good start...
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney: "If I give you $300 to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies: "Sure, what's the other question?"
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has 77.84 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer