Joke #3854

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move.

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already lived a wonderful and full life. The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.

"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money." "Why do you say that?" "Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25'."

A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving

What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.