It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date.
They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start.
The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand.
Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound.
The film began but the silence continued.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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The most effective way to remember to buy something to your wife for St. Valentine's Day is... to forget it once!
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