Joke #12108

I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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has 71.49 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist

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Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison… “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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has 77.29 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, nurse, old people, party
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
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has 72.92 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: catholic, death, life, music, party
A gay couple had been partnered for 25 years and was celebrating the 60th birthday of one of them. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The one who was giving the party said, "We've blown all our money on parties and fine dining and decorating this house, I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He had the tickets in his hand. Next, it was the birthday boy's turn. He paused for a moment, and then with a sly grin said, "Well, I'd like a boyfriend 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
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has 71.22 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, couple, gay, party
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, party
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, music
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison… “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, old people, party
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
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has 24.77 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, party, religious
Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: music, teacher
Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, teen, terrorist
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris