If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door.
I have a confession to make.
I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, probably more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know.
The temptation was just too much.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me.
It won't happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
Regards, Alan.
THE ACTIONS
Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor head.
He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor:
THE SECOND MESSAGE
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text.
I expect you figured it out anyway, that you noticed that darned Autocorrect changed 'Wi-Fi' To 'Wife'.
Technology hey?
Regards, Alan.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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