Joke #12298

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
Vote: has 84.43 % from 268 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
Vote: has 84.42 % from 95 votes. Send joke:
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Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
Vote: has 81.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
Vote: has 80.73 % from 132 votes. Send joke:
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Vote: has 80.00 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Vote: has 78.13 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
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I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
Vote: has 78.08 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote: has 76.70 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
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