Joke #12298

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, Valentines day

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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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has 83.19 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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has 82.51 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months. The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".
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has 82.31 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, dating, old people, travel
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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has 81.39 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, men, travel, women
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
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has 80.45 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
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has 79.50 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, sex, travel
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, stupid, travel
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 76.53 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel