Joke #12407

Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 81.29 % from 246 votes. Send joke:
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Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote: has 78.12 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
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This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
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Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Vote: has 72.93 % from 143 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
Vote: has 71.59 % from 132 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Vote: has 65.10 % from 157 votes. Send joke:
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