Q: Who were the first two black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
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During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.
Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me."
He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying.
He walks over to her and asks what's wrong.
"I've never been hugged before" she says.
Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her.
She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before."
The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss.
She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem.
"I've never been fucked before" she says.
So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone?
A: You can't hear a vitamin.
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a tree it made paper.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."