Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
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Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.
Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me."
He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox.
We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.
Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
"Ha! That's not going to help," she said.
"Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
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