Joke #12525

Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote:
has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Vote:
has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote:
has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
Vote:
has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
Vote:
has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Vote:
has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, food
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Vote:
has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
Vote:
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, money
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
Vote:
has 74.40 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women