Joke #12537

So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, poems, vulgar

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If you have a grief nobody feels, If you have a pain nobody feels. If your heart is broken nobody feels, but if you fart all will understand.
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I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.
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Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.48 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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has 65.22 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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has 60.48 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, disgusting, poems
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in.
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Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
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Roses are red "just like blood" Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo" So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out And shows me 1 thing your shit.
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has 15.14 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: insulting, poems, vulgar
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."
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has 68.77 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, travel, women