Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
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