Joke #12554

My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!

Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial. The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5,000.00. The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150.00. George thinks for some time and answers, "I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do." The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price." "No, it’s not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on!

Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.

Yo' Mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.

Yo Momma's so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk!

One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"