Joke #12554

My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!

I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"

"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.

My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the intenet to be worldwide.

Yo mama's so lactose intolerant, human kindness makes her throw up!

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".

Overheard in a restaurant: She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste." He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"

Yo mama is so fat, she needs two Facebook accounts for her profile picture.

Yo' Mama is so redneck, the door mat to her trailer home doubles as a mad flap for her pick up truck.