I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.