Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
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A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?"
"We made copies of all the receipts!"
Life is all about mind and matter - I don't mind and You don't matter...
Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
The government hates competition.
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie.
As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it.
The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie.
The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied.
"He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?"
The man says "I'm probably too honest."
The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality."
The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Vote:
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary.
The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions:
Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?
I don’t know.
What color do her eyes have?
I didn’t notice...
But about dressing, how does she dress?
Very fast...
10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.