Joke #12621

Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.

Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"

The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.

If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!

Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.

A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."

A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"

The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.

What do women and pools have in common? They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the little amount of time you're inside them.