T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.