Joke #1263

Me - Can you go to your moms room? Friend - Yeah, why? Me - I left my pants in there. Friend - Fuck you!
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky, when the notion of the motion was planted, in her dinky little head. With her butt in the air, while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest. Drunk and stupid and would not listen, smeared beyond recognition, she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
Vote:
has 24.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, drunk, poems, stupid
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Vote:
has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
Vote:
has 85.52 % from 1697 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes
Vote:
has 60.78 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, work
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
Vote:
has 57.23 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
Vote:
has 80.89 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
Vote:
has 77.58 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
Vote:
has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.” “Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.” “Not exactly, I’m a sheep in Wales.”
Vote:
has 78.54 % from 393 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, heaven, husband, sex
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
Vote:
has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty