Joke #1263

Me - Can you go to your moms room? Friend - Yeah, why? Me - I left my pants in there. Friend - Fuck you!
Vote:
has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Vote:
has 63.10 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ugly
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
Vote:
has 73.17 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, vulgar, work
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
Vote:
has 66.90 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote:
has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Vote:
has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
Vote:
has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, ugly, vulgar, women
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote:
has 82.80 % from 843 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote:
has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money