What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them. 
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly?
A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do.
Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen?
A: A submarine.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina?
A: A woman.
Vote:
An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord.
"Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !"
"Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord.
"No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me.
On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen.
Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
Vote:
Teacher: And therefore, sperm cells are made up of glucose.
Student: So you're saying that sperm has sugar in it?
Teacher: Technically. Yes.
Student: But it doesn't even taste like that...
Teacher: what?
Student: what?