What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them. 
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I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body.
More humiliating?
It was attached to my left breast.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
Q: What did one boob say to the other boob?
A: "It is nice to see you partner."
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A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems.
This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy.
There is only one side effect.
That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up.
The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.”
The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.”
“That’s what my father says.”