Joke #12719

Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
Vote:
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Vote:
has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind. Call me a sentimental old fool if you like, but I couldn't resist it. I texted my ex saying 'wish you were here'.
Vote:
has 80.58 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: age, death, mean, morbid, relationship
A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?" The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
Vote:
has 56.43 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: communication, jewish, mean, money, racist
He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
Vote:
has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: mean, navy
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
Vote:
has 80.13 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.
Vote:
has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, school, teacher
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Vote:
has 82.91 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
Vote:
has 42.00 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history, mean, science
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Vote:
has 68.01 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women