Joke #12719

Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean

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Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? A: 12 pirates.
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At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, political, ugly, women
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, mean
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, Yo mama
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
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has 73.74 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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has 73.48 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife