Joke #12719

Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: mean

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Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
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Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer. His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted". He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough." His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?" He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, friendship, marriage, mean
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day