When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
I never knew happiness till I got married. By then it was too late.
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."