When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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