When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
FBI.
FB…
We are asking the questions here!
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?"
"Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
