When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Q: How do you circumcise a redneck?
A: You kick his sister in the jaw.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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