Joke #13659

When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.

Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle? A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.

Chuck Norris can land a multi-hit combo with only one punch.

Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.

A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. The priest told the nun that she could sleep on the bed and he would sleep in the sleeping bag in the floor. As they were alone and beginning to get settled. The young nun said, "father?" in a song-song voice. He answered, "yes, sister?" "I'm cold." The priest got up and went to the closet and got another blanket and covered the nun. As he was settling back into his sleeping bag, she again said, "father?" "Yes, sister?" "I'm still cold." The priest got up and got another blanket from the closet and added it to the sisters' bed, tucking her in. He climbed back into the sleeping bag. Just as he was getting settled and the fire was crackling she called out to him again. "I'm still cold!" He said, "sister?" "Yes?" "We are all alone out here in this cabin in the mountains." "Yes, we are!" "Just this once... Yes? Just tonight... yes? Do you want to pretend that we are married?" "Oh yes! I do!" "Ok... get up and get your own dang blanket!"

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."