When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island.
The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts.
The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!"
He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated.
Everybody looks at him cross.
Then they kick him off the island.
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing.
"Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day."
"That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?"
"Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"